Today I was excited to write about the meteor shower that occurred last night. I stood outside, in the crisp dark night, gazing at the crystal clear sky, little droplets of magic dust shooting through the sky. I listened to the shuffle of some nocturnal creature, foraging for his dinner, the yapping and howling of a passing pack of coyotes in the field across the road. I felt so full of life, energy and awareness, inspired by the mightiness of the universe. Yet humbled, by how truly small we are in the big scheme of things; a speck in the endless universe.
I went to sleep feeling full, by mid-morning today, I was left feeling empty and heart broken. Today, a great tragedy occurred. Today 26 beautiful spirits were taken from this world. Twenty seven families are reeling from what occurred this morning. I may not know these families, or any of their friends or colleagues, aunts, uncles, or neighbors. Yet I am overwhelmed with grief and saddens for them. I wish I were there to hug them, hold them or just listen to them scream.
In a matter of less than 12 hours, I went from being blown away by the vastness of the universe and the small role we play, to feeling so connected to a situation I am 900 miles from with people I have never met. It is too overwhelming to comprehend how such anger and violence can occur towards innocent people, but it is beyond comprehension to grasp WHY or HOW you could hurt an innocent child? They are pure and full of life, light and laughter. But none of those victims at the school deserved to die. Arguments can be made that Adam (the shooter) deserved to die, but the better question is what happened to him that led to such actions. Was he a failed youth? Was his innocence stripped away too early, as these surviving children's innocence has? What can lead a young man, only 20 years old, to take such heinous actions, weeks before Christmas?
Suddenly, this vast universe just showed no matter how big it may be, we are somehow connected... and how much more connected we need to be.
There have been many conversations about gun control and the right to bear arms today in social media. There have many mean and nasty comments made, and hateful and cruel words said in reaction to this. Some have used this as an opportunity to politicize their views on gun control. But as a good friend said, "If we can't take an hour and mourn the loss of the little souls, it says a whole lot more about our country" (KH). Truer words could not be spoken. As a mother, I sob for these parents. I hurt for these families and the absolute devastation for them. Their lives have been forever altered. Their holiday's forever scarred by this day, by these actions of one young man. I ache for a community who will struggle with how to explain the unexplainable to so many sweet babies, who walked away with their lives, but left their childhood innocence in the classroom. The level of grief is more than they can bare alone. It is more than anyone should have to bare alone.
So with this, I ask all of you to take a moment for the families that were impacted today. Take time out of your night, be silent, be present. Turn off the TV, the computer, the iPod and just be BE present and thoughtful of those families that are crying next to the empty bed of the child who will never sleep in it again. The child who will never see their mom walk through their front door. The brother and son, who must try to understand why Adam killed their mother and so many others. Sit in silence, say a prayer, send the energy into the universe. Just feel love. Feel love for them, feel love for your own family. Squeeze your kids a little tighter tonight. Spend that extra 10 minutes reading a second or third story. Say that extra prayer with them night and go to bed a little more grateful for your blessings tonight.
But I beg you to not let it stop there. I ask you carry this on tomorrow. Think before you snip at the cashier because your coffee is taking too long. Before you gripe at a co-worker or snap at the kids. Be present and take that extra second to smile at someone on the street. Hold the door open for someone, or allow that car in front of you at the light. Focus on not just thinking about "me" and focus on "we". If "we" all start thinking a little bit less selfishly, we may garner more compassion. We may spread more love than hate. We may be able to eek out more happiness than sorrow.
I looked up at the endless sky last night and I saw a universe full of possibilities and promise. I believe we can have world full of possibilities and promise as well. It just needs to be spurred with some hardcore love and light. We need to remember, we are all connected. We can die alone or we can heal together.
Tonight, I ask that we do our part and send all the loving energy you can muster to our brothers and sisters in Connecticut. You are all in my heart and prayers.
Namaste
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